todaybhaskar.com
faridabad| Happiness is on the decline whereas rising standards are the talk of the town. There is no quarrel if comforts increase, but it should not be at the cost of a happy relaxed environment of a family. Perhaps our children are already deprived from such an atmosphere. Those relationships of yore that connected people together have fast faded away.
There is a dire need to rethink and mould our behaviour. This is where our traditional culture can serve us well. Let’s consider a few ideas that will help us to bring back harmony and an atmosphere of love and respect in our families.
1. ‘Seva’ (सेवा – Service with feeling and duty): From my personal experience I have discovered that there is huge difference between a cup of tea served by a house maid, wife, daughter, son or daughter in law. The cup of tea served by the maid evokes no feelings where as if served by a family member it does. Overtime these feelings transform into respect and love.
2. Family Room: We got to have one common room where all the members come and watch television and share their experiences. These days I find we have beautiful drawing rooms waiting for guests that don’t arrive and where family members are seldom seen. However, this is a convenient place for private chats on a mobile!
Occasions to sit together have become rare; everybody is glued to his own television set in his bedroom. All this has robbed us from proximity and sense of compromise. If we were together it will be imperative to agree to one programme. It will also require at times a final word from head of the family to settle down matters. Our bedrooms have divided us so much that tolerance and accommodation of ideas have disappeared.
3. Bank Accounts: All earning members have their own account and these are very private. There is a tug of war not to spend. Nobody depends on anyone for needs. It is total independence! This has destroyed unity of the homes. In fact, there are no homes left in cities; these are all houses, flats or paying guest hostels.
Young people of twenties and thirties perhaps will not understand all this! For they have not seen the homes of the past. For them privacy and freedom are the words. Their world is their friends and all relations are very secondary.
Recently, I spent a few weeks with a village family. I felt I was living a heavenly life. There was a head of the family and everybody was aware of it. There was a perfect hierarchy. Concept of bedrooms was foreign. There were no maids, everybody joined together to take care of the house. The family was not rich, but inspite of the under currents it was running so smoothly.
For those who have seen older times and know what a family means, the responsibility is great. They need to teach the children at schools and young children at home of values they are proud of. Some might say such things as ‘seva’, hierarchy, respect and love are old fashioned and is a step back. But step back we must from the mad rush of competition before it is too late!
